Who knew that starting a blog would bring so much clarity in to my life? But it has started to – and I’m loving it!

In my quest to be real with myself, I was very proud of myself today. In my WTF Do I Do? post last week, I talked about a secret I accidently found out and asked for suggestions on how to handle it.

On Thursday afternoon, I got up the nerve to talk to one of the members of senior management about it. Without getting specific, I wanted his feedback on what I should do. Very quickly, it became evident that he knew something as well and after dancing around our words, we realized we both knew the same secret. An enormous load was lifted off my shoulders just by being able to talk to someone about it that knows all of the people involved. “Don’t tell her I know”, I ask him. He assures me he won’t.

I felt so good being able to talk to someone I believed I could trust.

Oh, how wrong I was.

It turns out that the person in whom I confided went directly to this woman and told her that someone knows her secret. Although he didn’t sell me out entirely by grabbing her by the hand and walking her to my fucking office – he did tell her that her secret is out and someone she works with knows it. She’s a  woman – shouldn’t take her too terribly long to find out it’s me. That will be fun.

Here’s the part where I tell you how proud I am of myself. The me of the last 40 years would have stewed over the fact that my trust was betrayed but because I don’t like confrontation, I would not have called his ass on the carpet.

But no more. His ass is getting called!

I just got off the phone with him telling him how disappointed I am to hear that he betrayed my confidence. His disappointed me. And what the fuck good was he thinking would come out of it by telling her that someone knew her secret??

We talked quite awhile and I feel so much better. For being honest with him and telling him that he disappointed me. For being a more authentic self and not letting people screw me quite so easily anymore. 

At least not without ramifications.