V: “Mama! Mama! I have to go pee pee!!”

Me: “Okay, okay! Let’s go!”

V runs to the bathroom, sits on the toilet since he still hasn’t mastered the fine art of peeing-while-standing without giving my entire bathroom a pee-bath. Once settled on the toilet, a huge grin appears on his face.

V: “I’m putting out the fire, Mama!”

Me, only half paying attention while my mind wanders, thinking about whether or not I remembered to turn on the oven. God, I hate cooking dinner. Not because I’m not a decent cook, but because I’m too damned tired and would just love it if someone else would cook it for me! Every night. For free. And do the dishes too. That would be so wonderful …. “What did you say, V? What fire??”

V: “I’m putting out the fire, Mama! With my FIRE HOSE” – pointing to his penis.

Ahhhh. My child. The little fireman. Love it!