Lisa came over last night so we could talk about this whole disaster. The talk didn’t go as well as I had hoped, but strangely I feel a sense of peace now. I guess that’s because there’s no longer any question in my mind about where she’s coming from. Bottom line, she’s coming from a very selfish place right now – and although I cannot relate, I can understand.

She has not changed her mind on allowing me to throw her a shower. That bites because it was something I was really looking forward to but, as she explained it to me, it feels to her as if all of the wind has been taken out of the sails and it just wouldn’t be any fun for her. I understand, yes. But it still sucks.

There will still be a bridal shower thrown for her in the bay area by her sister. Lisa told me I will be invited to that. Psycho woman will not. That made me feel a little better, until she dropped the bombshell.

She’s still very upset that she’s involved in this mess at all and that it’s affecting the most important day in her life … her wedding. She’s worried about some kind of outburst at her wedding if all parties are present, given the crazy circumstances of the whole thing. She and her fiancé had a long, emotional discussion about what to do about the situation and the only conclusion they could come to that they felt they could live with was to “eliminate the parties involved”. And as they see it, the parties involved are psycho woman and my husband. Neither of whom will be invited to the wedding.

What the fuck?

My husband was the person attacked in this. Not once did he respond by lashing out at psycho woman for her attacks – although he was certainly in his right to do so. Instead, he ignored every single one of her emails. So now I am paying yet a bigger price for the actions of this bitch by not being allowed to attend the wedding with my husband.

After she dropped the bombshell, I got very quiet. She kept asking me if I was okay. I told her I needed to process this and sort out my feelings and that I didn’t want to say anything about it until I had the chance to do so.

She kept talking. Explaining their decision. Justifying it.

And although I can understand how they came to that decision, I did tell her that I disagree with it completely.

Even though she wanted to be the person to tell my husband directly, I told her that I thought it best if the news came from me. So after she left I told him. It was difficult to tell him, yes – but not as bad as it could have been only because Lisa has not always been one of my husband’s favorite people. For some reason, they just don’t click. They tolerate each other for my sake, but that’s about it. Anyway, I was impressed with how he took the news, even saying that he felt awful that Lisa was put in this predicament.

About an hour after she left, the phone rang. It was Lisa. She had left our house and went directly to psycho woman’s house to tell her of her decision. She wanted me to know that psycho woman was very distraught, crying the whole time, saying that she knows now that she was wrong, she feels awful, and that she wants to apologize to me. My first thought? Of course she said that shit … she wants to be invited to the wedding!! Duh!!! But, Lisa believes her. And that’s her choice.

As of now, even with the emotional apology by psycho woman to Lisa, nothing’s changed in terms of Lisa’s decision regarding the shower and the wedding. Lisa tells me she’s holding out hope that a fairy will come and sprinkle dust on all of this and make everything better before the invitations go out in the mail. Dream on, my friend. Dream on.

In the last 20 hours I’ve been thinking about this whole mess. How do I feel? Strangely, I feel peace. Not at her decision, but more as a result of the fact that I believe now that psycho woman will not try to contact my family again and reek havoc. I also feel sadness at the losses I am forced to swallow due to this woman’s actions against me and my family. And I must admit I’m a bit pissed off that Lisa is so wrapped up in herself with this wedding and all, that she fails to understand that I – one of her supposed best friends – has suffered in all of this. Really suffered. Every time I mentioned it last night, her immediate response was “what about me? What about what I’ve suffered?” I’m not saying she hasn’t suffered – I’m just looking for some compassion from someone who’s supposed to be one of my best friends. And I didn’t get that from her last night.

I’ve been trying my best to put myself in Lisa’s shoes. How would I feel if I were the one planning a wedding? And as hard as I try, I can’t get there. Part of it is because I never had a traditional wedding (we eloped), so I never experienced all of the planning that goes in to that. And part of it is because I just could not imagine not standing behind and supporting a best friend who has been viscously attacked by another person for no reason what-so-ever. For that reason, I am very disappointed in Lisa and feel as though I have learned that the level of our friendship is not where I thought it was. I’m definitely sad about that, but at the same time, I’m okay with it as well.

In the meantime, I have a decision to make regarding whether or not I will attend the wedding since my husband is not invited. If I had to make the decision this minute, I wouldn’t go. Luckily it’s not a decision I need to make right now, so for that reason I’m going to try not to think about it for awhile. I need time to heal and let the sting fade a bit.

So my dear friends, that is the end of the drama that has taken place in my life over the last five days. I’m done with it – and am moving on. But I can’t tell you how therapeutic it has been for me to be able to use this outlet to vent my frustrations and share this experience. The comments from all of you, and the emails you have sent me, have been wonderful. And for that, I thank you. I may not feel I have Lisa’s support in all of this – which hurts – but I definitely feel I have support from all of you – and that feels fucking fabulous!! Hugs to you all!!!

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