Blogging


SOF Hat

My New Year’s Resolution?? To get back on track with my blogging – oh, how I’ve missed it!!

December was a crazy busy month – actually November AND December were crazy. V turned four years old on December 4th. Because I knew I’d be too pregnant to want to want to throw a party in early December, we celebrated his birthday in early November. It was his first birthday party as I had told myself I wouldn’t throw a traditional kids birthday party until he was old enough and interested enough to ask for one. Literally about three days after his third birthday passed, he started asking for a birthday party!! So, he got one for his 4th birthday.

I took the easy route and had it at a bounce house place. Those places are a God-send for busy parents. They take care of everything. We just wrote the check. It was awesome and V and his friends loved it!

Sometime in early November I started getting depressed when thinking about the upcoming birth of our daughter and how it might affect my relationship with V. The mornings are the most special time for V and I. It’s when we spend quality time together – just the two of us – cuddling, talking, playing. I know that’s likely going to end once the baby comes – even if for a little while – and the thought of that is killing me. It’s the best part of my day and it makes me so sad to think of not having it.

I finally wrapped up things at work on December 7th and was looking foward to a good 2-3 weeks of me-time before baby G’s arrival. She had other plans. At about 2:00am on the morning of December 17th I started having contractions. Not heavy, not painful – but often. I had four within the span of 15 minutes and because of my condition and high blood pressure, I was told to call the doctor if I experienced more than four contractions in an hour.

So I called.

My doctor told me to come to the hospital. I was sure I’d just be monitored for an hour or so and come back home, so I drove myself and let my husband sleep. But long story short, my blood pressure was extremely high (185 over 135) – so they immediately hooked me up to an IV, took some blood and found that it contained protein, which meant pre-eclampsia to the degree that they worried it would move to eclampsia quickly. They informed that they needed to take the baby immediately. My health depended upon it.

Surgery would start in 30 minutes – with or without my husband. I was terrified. Luckily we live less than a mile from the hospital and luckily we have good friends who came over to take care of V – and my husband made it to the hospital just as I was rolling in to the OR at 6:00am.

Our little girl was born 3.5 weeks early – but very healthy and strong – at 6:44am on December 17th. She weighs just over five pounds, so I”m calling her my little Sack of Flour – or SOF. And now that it’s been just about two weeks since the surgery, I’m finally feeling stronger and able to get around!

V has been a dream with his little sister. At first he didn’t pay much attention to her, but that’s been increasing each day. He’s not acted out. He’s not asked to send her back. He’s been amazingly perfect about the whole ordeal. I’m convinced that’s because Christmas came only a week after his baby sister, and he received so much attention – and so many gifts – that that distracted him!

On Christmas Eve we went to my dad’s house, where Santa came for a vist. I hadn’t taken V to see Santa at all yet as the thought of hitting the mall and standing in line at 9 months pregnant was enough to send me over the edge. So it was important to me to make sure V would be at my dad’s so he could see Santa – even though I wasn’t feeling strong enough.

When Santa came in the house, V’s eyes got as big as saucers. He immediately ran up to him and just stared. All of the kids (about 15 of them) surrounded Santa as he announced that he had a bag of toys for all the good little girls and boys and that they all needed to sit down so he could hand them out. I noticed V with a look of terror on his face as he quickly scanned the room to try to find me. Once he did, he ran up to me with tears filling his eyes and asked me in a shaken voice:

“Mama? Have I been a good boy??”

It was the cutest thing EVER and brought tears to my eyes! I told him yes, and a look of relief mixed with joy came across his face as he ran back to Santa and took a seat to his right – and waited patiently for his toy.

The poor kid had to wait and wait as his toy was the last one out of the bag. With each toy that came out of the bag, V waited for his name to be called and when it wasn’t called his facial expression turned from anticipation and joy to concern and then near panic – and then relief when Santa finally called his name. My heart felt for him as I remember that feeling as a child as if it were yesterday!

All in all, our holidays were blessed – not only with the arrival of SOF, but with the time spent with family and good friends. We are looking forward to a fantastic ’08 and wish you and yours an amazing New Year!!

Wow. It’s been a long time since I’ve posted … and it’s been a long time since I’ve read any of my favorite blogs. Of those I have on my google reader, I have nearly 800 posts I’ve not yet read! Eee gads!!

First things first … why. Why have I seemingly disappeared off the face of the blog-o-sphere? One word … pregnancy. It’s been a real bitch for me, people. It’s all I can do to get through a day without losing my mind. Between the “complications” of this pregnancy, trying to get work in order so that I can be out of the office for 4 months, and chasing after a very energetic almost four year old, I’m drowning.

Oh, and the guilt. Perhaps it’s the hormones, but the guilt is sometimes crippling. I’m pregnant. I’m creating life. I should be glowing, excited, unbelievably happy, grateful, feeling oh-so-blessed.

NOT. Hence, the guilt.

I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I’m “advanced maternal age”, but this pregnancy is kicking my ass. I recall not exactly enjoying being pregnant the first time around, but this is so much worse. I should start by explaining that all is going well with the baby as of now. It’s me and the fact that I seem to be falling apart.

I have cholestasis – which is pregnancy-induced liver disease. Lucky me. First the good news:
– with ongoing monitoring, the baby should be fine
– I will deliver early
– my liver will return to normal after giving birth

And the bad news?
– there’s nothing that can be done about it
– I have an all-over body itch that is present all day, every day and is driving me insane. It’s an itch that comes from inside, so it’s not like I can use a lotion or take a bath or do anything to relieve it. The ONLY thing that provides a bit of relief is Benadryl. Which makes me sleepy – and which I haven’t been able to take in the last few days because my blood pressure has started to rise.

Add the feelings of guilt to the ever-present, overwhelmingly annoying body itch, and you’ve got one depressed Mama G.

Hence my disappearance.

I will return eventually – to both posting here and commenting on all of your blogs as well! In the meantime, have a fabulous holiday season with you and yours …

Cheers!

I’m afraid I owe some of you an apology. I’ve been tagged here and there over the last month, and I’m simply terrible at this modern day game of what was once one of my childhood favorites.

As much as I’d love to be able to play well with others – I’m afraid I just don’t have it in me. Not sure why – but I just don’t. So, in an effort to somehow make up for it, somehow make things right, somehow be a good sport, I’ve decided to take the easy road and play along by listing 8 things you may not know about me. Of course, I can’t remember who tagged me with this one – but it seems to be the easiest one for me to complete – so here goes …

1. I do not look, nor do I act my age … just one month shy of 41. People who don’t know me very well or have recently met me always peg me for my early to mid 30’s. I love that. And I typically wear it proudly … except for yesterday, when I went to pick up V from pre-school. One of his classmates asked me if I was V’s grandmother. THAT sucked.

2. I have spoken to John Cusack on the phone. It was fabulous.

3. I regularly run in to Governor Schwarzenegger. And no, I don’t live in L.A. When he’s in town for business, he eats lunch out every single day at one of two restaurants – one of which is directly next door to my office. We know when he’s coming because they block off the parking spots directly in front of the restaurant. And he always arrives around 1:30pm – after the crowds. He is extremely friendly and always says hello, makes small talk. Maria’s been with him on occasion. She looks awful – far too skinny. But she, too, is very nice.

4. I’m in the process of working with a group of fantastic individuals with the goal of opening up a children’s museum here in town. It’s a painfully slow process that will one day be worth it!

5. I am terrified to fly, yet I’ve jumped out of an airplane. And I’d do it again.

6. When I was a teenager, I was voted “Miss Italy” for the Italian Athletic Club – a club of which my dad and grandfather were members. I was interviewed on our local television station, and had to walk in a parade. I won a stereo that had not only a turntable, but also a cassette player! I still have my tiara … somewhere.

7. I was a dancer for over 20 years … ballet, toe, tap, jazz and Spanish dancing. I had my first solo when I was 12 years old. I never grew tall enough to consider it as a profession. And although I was quite graceful when performing, I’ve always struggled with club dancing. Of course, that doesn’t stop me. I will dance all night long. All by myself if necessary. And have the time of my life!

8. I can throw a kick-ass party. Ten years after our inaugural Mardi Gras party, people are still talking about the crawfish we had flown in, the cops that I tried to get to wear mardi gras beads, the buckets full of Hurricanes that had more than a few people puking that night, and the panties that somehow ended up on the chandelier …

So there you have it … along with my apology to those that have tagged me.

I’ve been tagged a few times over the last several weeks, and I’m so, so, so bad at doing my part and playing the game. I can’t even remember who tagged me and for what – so I decided to go ahead and answer these questions, which I took from here because I’m too tired to think of anything else to blog about today … so here goes!

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
Trying to keep this blog from the eyes of those I know, so sorry I can’t share the real names – although number three is real:
1. Mama G
2. Chaos Control
3. Mama

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My eyes. Big and brown. (sha la la la la la la – brown eyed girl)
2. My hair. Lots of it (even though I’m wearing it shorter now) and it’s very easy to work with.
3. The legs. Still holding their shape, thank goodness!

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My stomach. I’ve always had one – even when I was a size two.
2. My boobs. They’re too damn big. Although the Husband would beg to differ.
3. My arms. I carry extra weight in my tummy and my arms, of all places.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Italian
2. Lebanese
3. German

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Something happening to my child
2. Scary movies. I love them and hate them at the same time.
3. Flying in airplanes. Terrifies me.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. My son. Must have daily dose of hugs and kisses and play time.
2. My computer with internet connection.
3. Coffee … except right now, because it sounds horrible to me since becoming preggo

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Fabulous black flats bought recently in San Francisco.
2. A maternity shirt!
3. Darling earrings

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE MUSICALS:
1. Phantom of the Opera
2. Jersey Boys
3. Lion King

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Unwritten – Natasha Bedingfield
2. Fireflies – Faith Hill
3. Brown Eyed Girl – Van Morrison

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Respect
2. Laughter
3. Honesty

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS THAT YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE:
1. New York City Skyline
2. This hills of Tuscany
3. My son’s dimples

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Hanging out with family
2. Drinking wine/wine tasting
3. Photography

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Take a nap
2. Finish decorating my son’s bedroom
3. Find someone to clean my house

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING:
1. I’m not.
2. I have the perfect career
3. And the perfect job

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Italy
2. Hawaii – specifically, Maui
3. New York

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Nicholas
2. Darren
3. Sofia

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Live in Italy
2. To own my own pair of Jimmy Choos and/or Manolo Blahniks
3. Take a trip across the country

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1. I like to dress pretty
2. I’m obsessed with shoes
3. I cry easily in movies and certain commercials

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I can play a mean game of darts
2. I love dive bars
3. I can curse like a truck driver

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. George Clooney
2. Matthew McConaughey
3. John Travolta

So, there you go. A little bit about me. I’m not going to tag anyone because – hey, we’ve already established how horrible I am at these things, so if you want to play along, great. And if not, that’s great too! Either way, have a fantabulous weekend!!

Thinking Blogger Who’da thunk? I’ve been tagged by Wonder Mom for a Thinking Blogger Award. Good thing this doesn’t require an acceptance speach in front of a live audience … it wouldn’t be pretty! But I would like to thank Wonder Mom for the very kind words. I don’t feel deserving, but am certainly honored!

When I started this blog ONE YEAR AGO (can’t believe it!), I had no idea what I was in store for. I fully expected it to be an outlet that would allow me to record my experiences as a mom so that I could eventually share them with my son. You see, my memory sucks so if I don’t write things down, I don’t remember anything. I was journaling, but go tired of writing – hence, the blog.

What I never expected was the therapy blogging would provide. And the friendships. I find myself going through withdrawals if I get too busy in my real world and skip a few days of reading the blogs I’ve become addicted to. I feel like I know some of these people personally – even though on some of them, I rarely comment. I’ve made an effort to be a better commenter this year, and it’s paid off. I’ve “met” many new blogging friends and I’ve been introduced to many more encouraging, enlightening, hillarious, and inspirational blog.

So here’s what I’m supposed to do now … 1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think, 2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme, 3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote.

And although I can’t say I know if there are any parameters to giving a Thinking Blogger Award, I do know which blogs I’m addicted to … besides Wonder Mom and her fantastic blog, these are the others I enjoy. Immensely. Most of them – maybe even all – have been tagged with this award before, but I’m just doing my job here and spreading the love!

1. Oh, the Joys – This woman makes me laugh unlike any other. From her obsession with park rangers, to her lovely self-portraits – and not to mention all of the crazy stories she has to share – I just love her. I’m sure you’re all likely regular readers already, but if not then go there now and read. You’ll be back for more. She’s addicting.

2. Stepping Over the Junk – I’m addicted. She’s been going through some pretty significant changes in her life, and I admire her honesty and enjoy reading as she wades her way through it all. She has been truly thought provoking for me.

3. I’m not a girl, not yet a wino – Another brilliant writer who makes me laugh out loud. And she loves wine. She’s my hero.

4. Meet Joe Flirt – And yes, he’s a flirt. His raw and instense honesty about his marriage is what keeps me coming back. So often I read blogs who boast about their perfect spouse and how lucky they are, blah, blah, blah. I guess perfect couples exist, but I’ve yet to meet them in real life. Joe Flirt is very honest about his marriage and is doing the best he can with what he’s got. And, he’s an amazing dad.

5. Dan’s Blah Blah Blog – Funny. Pee your pants funny. At least to me.

So there you have it. I could easily give you more than five, but that would be me not following the rules. And I always try my best to set a good example for my son. Except when the rules just make no sense, or just plain suck, but that’s a whole other post for another time!

Cheers!

The Husband: “I haven’t been totally honest me with you and I need to tell you something“.

My inside voice: Yeah. I know.

The Husband: “I read your blog. I have no interest in reading it again, but I wanted you know know that that’s how I found out that you blah blah blah”

My outside voice: “I know”

He must have visited the old blog again only to find out that all the posts have been deleted. That’s okay. I’m just glad he fessed up. And I’m glad he’s okay with me continuing my blogging habbit since I have no intention of stopping. Blog on!

I’m so completely exhausted I don’t even know where to begin. This past weekend was emotionally crippling for me. All thanks to my blog.

I was found. My blog, rather. But that means me. The me that writes things that I don’t really want those that know me to read. When I began blogging a year ago, I made a conscious decision to keep it private. Some of my friends know I have a blog, but that don’t know anything about it or how to find it.

My own damn fault, it was. The Husband and I share a laptop, and I must have not logged out completely. It’s not that I’m trying to hide anything from him, but I treat this blog as I treat a journal. I put thoughts and feelings in here that I really don’t care with people that actually know me. It’s safer that way for me. It makes me feel more comfortable saying what ever I want to say – without fear of being judged by people I socialize with. Or am related to.

As luck would have it, a few of the more recent posts I’ve written happen to be about ex-boyfriends. Pure happenstance. A year of blogging, never a mention of an ex – and within weeks – days – after posting about one, the Husband finds it. Not good. Big fight. Huge. Exhausting.

He hasn’t actually told me that he found the blog – but I know. For starters, I checked the history on the computer, which also told me exactly which posts he read. I wonder if he’ll say anything about it after he realizes I’ve deleted all of the posts off the other blog? Let’s just hope not.

So, here I am in my new home. Haven’t yet completely unpacked. The furniture still needs some re-arranging. But I’m here. Complete with new locks on the door so that I feel safe. I love having company, so feel free to come on by anytime! Stay as long as you’d like!!

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