Misc


We just returned from a weekend spent at the family cabin near Yosemite, only this time we went with friends rather than family. It was fabulous and I wish I were still there right now!

One of the couples that joined us are newer friends. Friends we met through friends. They have two kids – two kids that worked my last nerve quite a bit – which, admittedly isn’t difficult considering I’m pregnant and therefore a bit cranky. I had been warned that they were “high energy” kids, but I never dreamed that high energy was really the nice way of saying “loud, very tempermental” children.

The Husband and I found ourselves discussing these kids, and their behavior, for a good part of the drive home. Their parents are so nice. So seemingly normal. And seem so involved. Is it just that these kids are hard-wired to be the way they are? Or is it because of the way their parents do or do not discipline them?

Bottom line was that I found myself feeling bad for these parents. I believe they are doing the best they know how in trying to raise these kids. I’m no mom-of-the-year, but I’ve seen Super Nanny enough times that I did notice a few things that they should have been doing, and aren’t. As well as things that they are doing, but shouldn’t. But I did the smart thing and kept my big mouth closed. None of my business – and no one asked for my opinion. And, we all survived relatively unscathed from the weekend …

The highlight of the weekend took place at the Ahwahnee Hotel in Yosemite. We decided to stop there for lunch and as we were walking inside, we passed two men standing by two beautiful very high-end Harley Davidson motorcycles. I made contact with one of the men and immediately thought to myself “I know him from somewhere”, however the thought left my brain the very next second because, well, that just happens now that I’m pregnant.

Fast forward twenty minutes or so and we find ourselves sitting outside on the patio at the table next to these same two men. And the tables really are quite close – such that we can hear each other’s conversations. The man that looked familiar to me is very obviously watching us – six loud adults with five rambunctious children – as I “caught” him looking over our way more than a few times. He must recognize me as well.

I know him. I definitely know him.

But how? I’ve not a clue.

Finally, as he was looking over our way I caught eye contact with him. “You look so familiar”, I say to him. “I know I know you from somewhere, but I can’t place it. Do I look familiar to you?”

He gets a shit-eating grin on his face, and tells me that I don’t look familiar to him.

I proceed to ask him if he’s from the town in which I currently reside. He tells me no. What about the town in which I grew up? No.

I’m stumped. I let it go and refocus my attention on the kids. A few moments later my girlfriend, giggling, says to me that the reason the man looks familiar is because it’s Tony Danza. Of “Who’s the Boss” fame.

No sooner did the words exit her mouth did it occur to me. No, it’s not Tony Danza. But yes, it is someone famous. Which explains the shit-eating grin he gave me.

It was Matt LeBlanc. Joey Tribbiani. Looking older than I would have guessed, but it didn’t matter because he was very nice.

I never let on to the fact that I finally figured out who he was. I’m sure he got a good laugh over it later, as we did.

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On the pregnancy front, I’m not sleeping well, I’m dropping things constantly and can no longer easily bend over to pick them up, and I’m exhausted. Otherwise, still on track for a Christmas or New Year holiday baby.

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The sewing addiction has not yet subsided. I’ve made somewhere near ten outfits now – and have even made a few for gifts. I bought an entire bolt of fabric yesterday because I found it on sale for $2 per yard, and I love it. That, and I think I might try to use it to make a few dresses and try to sell them. Every person I’ve shown the clothes to is telling me that I need to sell them. Here are just a few photos of what I’ve made so far:
Green and Brown Dragonfly Orange

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… that is the question. And luckily, it’s not one we need to answer immediately, and perhaps not at all.

As those who have been reading this blog awhile may remember, I live in a very old, very charming home that we purchased nearly six years ago. Because it was built in 1917, it is a project home. And the projects never end. That, and the home is bigger than we need. I’m not really sure what we were thinking when we bought it, but keeping up on house cleaning was clearly not on the list.

Thanks to one of my favorite websites, zillow.com, we have been contacted twice in the last few weeks asking if we would consider selling our home. The Husband and I talked about it this weekend and we’ve decided that if the perfect offer fell in our lap then yes, we would move. The idea of downsizing and getting rid of the clutter, along with a smaller house payment (especially in light of the second child coming soon), have me really liking the idea of moving. I’m trying not to get too excited because I don’t want to be disappointed.

We do love our house, so we won’t be crushed if neither of these potential options come to fruition. There are a few things we’d change about it … add more kids to the block, finish all the big projects, and hire a house keeper. Other that that, it’s an amazing home.

But I do find that I am fighting the excitement of what a potential move could mean … along with less clutter and smaller house payment, we would be looking at banking a serious amount of cash as there is a substantial difference between what we could sell our home for and what the homes we are interested in are selling for. That significant cash could bring about college education for both kids, a couple of new cars, and a trip or two to Europe. It’s hard not to get too excited about that!!!

So, we shall see. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Of this I am sure!

Lisa came over last night so we could talk about this whole disaster. The talk didn’t go as well as I had hoped, but strangely I feel a sense of peace now. I guess that’s because there’s no longer any question in my mind about where she’s coming from. Bottom line, she’s coming from a very selfish place right now – and although I cannot relate, I can understand.

She has not changed her mind on allowing me to throw her a shower. That bites because it was something I was really looking forward to but, as she explained it to me, it feels to her as if all of the wind has been taken out of the sails and it just wouldn’t be any fun for her. I understand, yes. But it still sucks.

There will still be a bridal shower thrown for her in the bay area by her sister. Lisa told me I will be invited to that. Psycho woman will not. That made me feel a little better, until she dropped the bombshell.

She’s still very upset that she’s involved in this mess at all and that it’s affecting the most important day in her life … her wedding. She’s worried about some kind of outburst at her wedding if all parties are present, given the crazy circumstances of the whole thing. She and her fiancé had a long, emotional discussion about what to do about the situation and the only conclusion they could come to that they felt they could live with was to “eliminate the parties involved”. And as they see it, the parties involved are psycho woman and my husband. Neither of whom will be invited to the wedding.

What the fuck?

My husband was the person attacked in this. Not once did he respond by lashing out at psycho woman for her attacks – although he was certainly in his right to do so. Instead, he ignored every single one of her emails. So now I am paying yet a bigger price for the actions of this bitch by not being allowed to attend the wedding with my husband.

After she dropped the bombshell, I got very quiet. She kept asking me if I was okay. I told her I needed to process this and sort out my feelings and that I didn’t want to say anything about it until I had the chance to do so.

She kept talking. Explaining their decision. Justifying it.

And although I can understand how they came to that decision, I did tell her that I disagree with it completely.

Even though she wanted to be the person to tell my husband directly, I told her that I thought it best if the news came from me. So after she left I told him. It was difficult to tell him, yes – but not as bad as it could have been only because Lisa has not always been one of my husband’s favorite people. For some reason, they just don’t click. They tolerate each other for my sake, but that’s about it. Anyway, I was impressed with how he took the news, even saying that he felt awful that Lisa was put in this predicament.

About an hour after she left, the phone rang. It was Lisa. She had left our house and went directly to psycho woman’s house to tell her of her decision. She wanted me to know that psycho woman was very distraught, crying the whole time, saying that she knows now that she was wrong, she feels awful, and that she wants to apologize to me. My first thought? Of course she said that shit … she wants to be invited to the wedding!! Duh!!! But, Lisa believes her. And that’s her choice.

As of now, even with the emotional apology by psycho woman to Lisa, nothing’s changed in terms of Lisa’s decision regarding the shower and the wedding. Lisa tells me she’s holding out hope that a fairy will come and sprinkle dust on all of this and make everything better before the invitations go out in the mail. Dream on, my friend. Dream on.

In the last 20 hours I’ve been thinking about this whole mess. How do I feel? Strangely, I feel peace. Not at her decision, but more as a result of the fact that I believe now that psycho woman will not try to contact my family again and reek havoc. I also feel sadness at the losses I am forced to swallow due to this woman’s actions against me and my family. And I must admit I’m a bit pissed off that Lisa is so wrapped up in herself with this wedding and all, that she fails to understand that I – one of her supposed best friends – has suffered in all of this. Really suffered. Every time I mentioned it last night, her immediate response was “what about me? What about what I’ve suffered?” I’m not saying she hasn’t suffered – I’m just looking for some compassion from someone who’s supposed to be one of my best friends. And I didn’t get that from her last night.

I’ve been trying my best to put myself in Lisa’s shoes. How would I feel if I were the one planning a wedding? And as hard as I try, I can’t get there. Part of it is because I never had a traditional wedding (we eloped), so I never experienced all of the planning that goes in to that. And part of it is because I just could not imagine not standing behind and supporting a best friend who has been viscously attacked by another person for no reason what-so-ever. For that reason, I am very disappointed in Lisa and feel as though I have learned that the level of our friendship is not where I thought it was. I’m definitely sad about that, but at the same time, I’m okay with it as well.

In the meantime, I have a decision to make regarding whether or not I will attend the wedding since my husband is not invited. If I had to make the decision this minute, I wouldn’t go. Luckily it’s not a decision I need to make right now, so for that reason I’m going to try not to think about it for awhile. I need time to heal and let the sting fade a bit.

So my dear friends, that is the end of the drama that has taken place in my life over the last five days. I’m done with it – and am moving on. But I can’t tell you how therapeutic it has been for me to be able to use this outlet to vent my frustrations and share this experience. The comments from all of you, and the emails you have sent me, have been wonderful. And for that, I thank you. I may not feel I have Lisa’s support in all of this – which hurts – but I definitely feel I have support from all of you – and that feels fucking fabulous!! Hugs to you all!!!

I feel sick to my stomach. My tummy is in knots. I am mad. Disappointed. And mostly sad.

The fallout from the psychotic woman from the softball team has hit me hard. I am mad at myself for getting so upset over this. The woman doesn’t deserve a moment’s though. I’m disappointed with how things turned out considering we’re supposed to be adults. And I am sad because it has affected a third-party friend who has not been involved in this at all.

Lisa and I have been close friends for over ten years now. She threw me a baby shower when I was pregnant with V. We take at least one “girls weekend” trip together every year. We’ve taken vacations together and have been out of the country together. And we’ve been there for each other during both good and bad times.

Lisa is good friends with psycho-softball woman. Their friendship is only a few years old, but they hang out quite often. Certainly more often than I see Lisa these days. Lisa’s also getting married in three months – and I am throwing her a bridal shower – and guess who’s on the guest list?

As a result of the final email received from psycho-softball woman, I’ve had an uneasy feeling all day. The I-need-to-watch-my-back-and-check-my-car kind of feeling. This woman is so unstable that I’m actually afraid she might try to do something above and beyond the horrible emails. I’m not afraid for my life or anything, just more along the lines of getting the cars keyed, tires slashed, spray paint on the house kind of thing. Being that two other people on our softball team have called me today and told me to watch my back, I’m certainly not the only person who thinks she’s unstable. And I’m not sure if it’s just the shock of it all that has driven me there, but I spent the afternoon researching how to attain a restraining order.

Begrudgingly, I had to tell Lisa today that I don’t feel comfortable around this woman and, knowing that Lisa is having another shower thrown for her, I asked her if there was any way she could invite the woman to that shower instead of the one I was throwing. Lisa’s reaction was not a good one. She’s pissed. And this afternoon she sent an email to both the woman and I telling us she wants us to work this out and come to some kind of common ground as she refuses to pick between friends.

The problem is, no matter how good of a friend Lisa is, I am not willing to talk to this woman ever again. She’s lost her mind and is clearly unstable. She crossed the line. And although I know I would easily be able to stay away from her if we were to find ourselves in a group situation (ie: a wedding), I do not for one moment trust how she would behave towards me and my family.

So I told Lisa today that I was pulling myself out of the shower and wedding festivities. I do not want her to have to choose between her friends, yet I am not willing to compromise over what is right and so very, very wrong here. And this woman is the one who is so very, very wrong. I have a great degree of sadness because in all likelihood this will negatively affect my friendship with Lisa, possibly ending it. I knew that before telling this to Lisa. But I just cannot budge.

It’s such a damn shame. I’m tearing up thinking about it because my family and I did nothing, NOTHING, to warrant these viscous verbal attacks from that woman. Yet I find myself in a situation where I am at risk of losing something I value – Lisa’s friendship. Why does it feel like I’m the one being punished? I did nothing to deserve this and it outright sucks.

Mean and evil people are the one’s who should suffer the losses in life. Yet this mean and evil woman will attend Lisa’s shower, Lisa’s wedding, and retain Lisa’s friendship. I am so very, very sad.

UPDATE: I received a call from Lisa this evening. She asked for my side of the story, which I shared with her. She then said she didn’t want me throwing her a shower and that everyone on the invite list, except for psycho-woman and myself – would be invited to the other shower that’s being thrown for her. As of now, she’s thinking that she’ll invite neither me or this other woman to the wedding reception because she doesn’t want one of us invited and not the other. She may change her mind on that, she tells me.

This is what I get after ten years of friendship? For doing absolutely nothing wrong? Wow. That stings. Guess she wasn’t as close of a friend as I had thought. My bad.

Reply

Oh, the drama! I swear I’ve not experienced the likes of it at this level since high school!!

So, she replied to my email (read previous post if you’re just joining the party). She continued to verbally attack not only my husband but myself as well. Her first response was quite long-winded and was out of left field. She accused me of saying something about one of the girls on the team like two years ago. I can’t even remember what happened yesterday, let alone two years ago and I have zero recollection about what she was referring to.

I replied to her by telling her, once again, to stop the attacks and grow up. She was acting like a high-schooler and I didn’t want any part of it.

She replied again and went even further off the deep end – to the point where I’m seriously a bit afraid of the woman. She’s unstable. I replied and told her that I was done with the subject, and done with her. Although it was tempting to sinc to her level and tell her what I really thought of her, I told her that I wasn’t about to do so. I also told her that I flagged her email address as spam and that there was no need to reply because any future emails from her would go directly to the trash, where they belong.

The story, my dear friends, doesn’t end there. The bitch had the nerve to copy and paste the entire email chain between us and send it out to the entire softball team via the group email.

It took all of maybe 3 minutes for the team coach to reply by announcing that her psycho-ass (my description, not his) was kicked off the team.

Good riddance, I say!

Do you ever find yourself so angry at someone that you start typing (or writing) them an email (or letter) telling them all the things you really, really want to say – but then you hit delete and never actually send it? Just getting all the words down on screen (or paper) is somehow cathartic and makes you feel better … even if you’re the only person who will ever see those words, right?

Well … today my friends, I hit SEND. Yep! Fuck with a hormonal pregnant woman, and she’ll hit SEND!

It’s a long story, so I’ll try to give you the cliff notes version. The Husband and I have been on a co-ed softball team for the last five years. The team uses Yahoo Groups to communicate … so when an email is sent via Yahoo Groups, everyone on the team gets the email.

A woman on the team – whom I invited to play with us about four years ago – has recently gone off the deep end. Unprovoked, about two and a half weeks ago she sent an email to the whole team verbally attacking my husband. I won’t go in to what she said, but it wasn’t pretty.

I immediately replied to her email via the group asking everyone to please refrain from attacking others on Yahoo Groups and that if anyone has an issue with just one person, to contact that person directly and work it out with them. A few others on the team sent replies to her email saying things like the use of the email group forum was not an appropriate place for these kinds of things, etc. The coach of the team started moderating comments so it wouldn’t get ugly.

The Husband emailed this woman directly and told her that he was surprised to hear how she felt about him, and would welcome the opportunity to talk to her about it to clear the air so as not to cause discomfort amongst the team. She never responded to him.

Today – out of nowhere again – she sent another blasting email to the entire group. She accused the Husband of “crying like a baby”, among other things. The coach immediately responded telling her in no uncertain terms that it was her final warning to stop with the personal attacks. I say kick her ass off the team, but unfortunately it’s not my call.

I read today’s email just after returning from a 2.5 hour appointment where I was supposed to have an amnio. Two and a half hours with a bladder ready to burst – only to find out that it wasn’t safe to do the amnio today because of something to do with the smaller sack surrounding the baby not yet fusing with the outer sack. After this ordeal, I was cranky.

All things considered, I went easy on the bitch … here’s what I said cuz I know you’re just dying to know …

Alright, (insert name) … it’s time to grow the fuck up. Since you obviously have an issue with (my husband), you need to talk to him directly rather than “crying like a baby” by sending emails to the entire group. The only thing you’re accomplishing is making yourself look like a psycho-bitch.

Maybe it’s time you just leave the team.

… and then I hit SEND! That was about four hours ago and I’ve not yet received a response. I’m sure I will and considering the off-kilter mental state of this woman, it’s sure to be an interesting response. And for some reason, I just can’t wait!!

Medicine Cabinet
According to some study that someone somewhere conducted – funded by who knows who – a whopping 40% of us snoop in the medicine cabinets belonging to others. Truth be told, my first thought was that this number was probably a bit low. But I guess that probably tells more about the kind of friends I have than it does the general population.

Let it be known that this study has inspired me. Inspired me to have a little fun with my own medicine cabinet! You see, the Husband and I entertain quite frequently. Most often, we have the small, intimate, back yard bar-b-que kind of gatherings but at least once a year we have a balls-out party. The kind we threw – and attended – back in the college years. Most often, the theme is Mardi Gras, or “Pardi Gras” as we call it. And most often it’s thrown in the middle of the summer – not even close in timing to the real Mardi Gras – not that it really matters.

This year due to the pregnancy I’m not sure we’ll have a Pardi Gras. It’s an awful lot of work for me, with no benefit to me if I can’t partake in the Hurricanes. But that aside, the very next time we have a somewhat large gathering of people at our pad, I plan to have some fun with my medicine cabinet!

I’m going to take out all of the items normally stocked in there … deodorant, rubbing alcohol, bandaids, lotions … and fill it with random items such as a small bag of peanuts, a few matchbox race cars, marbles, a pen, business cards, a pair of socks and a disposable camera. It’s the camera I’m most excited about because I would be so curious to see what pictures people would take of themselves. In my bathroom. Curious and a bit frightened as well. Tee, hee! So, what else should I put in there? Ideas??

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